I'm so sorry for what you've been through, and also sorry that you haven't felt listened to. Do you talk to your therapist about the assaults? Because if you don't feel comfortable talking to this therapist about it maybe you could find another therapist that would listen better.

I can also relate to being assaulted. I don't know what yours was like but I was raped when I was 17...and I did blame myself for a long time afterwards, and think I did something wrong to deserve it. It has taken me over 5 years to realize that I didn't deserve that...I didn't do anything to deserve it, and you didn't either-even though you may blame yourself and think you did. It wasn't your fault!

Please talk to your therapist or someone you trust, or PM me. Killing yourself is never a good option, and even though it feels like the pain will never go away now, THERE IS HOPE! there are options and there is a way to heal...you may have to feel and go through the pain, but there are people around you who care about you that can help you go through it.

I'm thinking of you and hoping you get through this. One day at a time. Just get through today, and then we'll worry about tomorrow, and the next.