Oh, Thomas, that is so sad. I will pray for you, there will be a better tomarrow in your future. Keep trying, and know that you are not alone
Thomas.
Night time is always hard for me too. Try this, when you go to bed close your eyes and try to think of letting your mind take you on a special trip to happiness. Every night tell your brain to find something fun to do while you are sleeping. As you lay there count backwards from 100 and then when you get to 20 tell yourself deeper in rest for each number you go back then at 10 say in your mind I am very tired, I am ready to rest, I am going to nice places in my sleep, I am going deeper and to those nice places. I am ready to rest my brain is going to find pleasure while I rest.

This is from an old course I took years ago called some sort of mind control and how to help yourself control your brain and program it for rest, happiness, success etc. It does work well.

Try it, it is almost like self hypnosis. Remember it is YOUR BRAIN Thomas.
I does not belong to any one who has harmed you.