Abby,

You are NOT a burden! When you get better (and you will!), it will be a whole new lease on life. Don't worry about rambling here - I wish I had had a sounding board as kind as the people here when I had my darkest moments. Also, I find it helpful just to ramble in my thoughts when I'm confused about how I feel - I often don't know exactly what I think or why until I write it down. It's like I need to see it on paper to understand exactly what's going on up there.

Talking to your sis is a great idea. My sister and I were always at odds growing up, and once we were both out of the same living quarters we became each other's best friends. She has been through much of what I have, if not worse, and it really helps to talk to someone who has been or is going through the same thing. I think it's great that your sister wants to take you to the doctor's office. Having that kind of "push" is invaluable. Taking the first step is the hardest, and I'm so sorry that the first doctor you saw was so uncaring. There are many more caring, thoughtful doctors out there.

Let us know how it goes!

Anna

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett