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Distressed2010
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Member Since Sep 2010
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Default Mar 15, 2011 at 02:39 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
Distressed, others can try to lay on the guilt but you don't have to trip over it :-) What other people do is for their own sake! Your sister is not you; if she wants to list all the things she has done for you to make herself feel better, more power to her but that has no relationship to you! She is trying to make herself feel better (so must feel bad in the first place) and maybe how she does it works for her but it doesn't have to have any influence on how you feel about what you do/do not do. Next time she reminds you of something she has done for you, thank her That will throw her off because it's not like she can demand that you do things for her in return or get you to acknowledge that she is somehow superior to you, etc.

Give to other people as a true "gift" not with the expectation that they will give you something in return. When one is given a gift, it becomes one's property and they can do whatever they want with it (including throw it out). If you have been helped by what your sister has done by you, "thank you" is the only response necessary. There is no guilt to accepting what someone else gives you.
Thanks Perna! I appreciate your response, it makes lots of sense to me. Theres a minor issue with that. I've tried saying thanks for that, but the moment i say yes, thankyou for that... my mother, father, the entire family turns to me and says "SEE! so you agree she does do so much for you sam, then why're you behaving this way? look how much she does for you, she got you diamond earrings, diamond, who does that? isn't that sweet?".

Then, what do i do?
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