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Old Mar 15, 2011, 02:42 AM
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Distressed2010 Distressed2010 is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Posts: 295
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
Distressed, others can try to lay on the guilt but you don't have to trip over it :-) What other people do is for their own sake! Your sister is not you; if she wants to list all the things she has done for you to make herself feel better, more power to her but that has no relationship to you! She is trying to make herself feel better (so must feel bad in the first place) and maybe how she does it works for her but it doesn't have to have any influence on how you feel about what you do/do not do. Next time she reminds you of something she has done for you, thank her That will throw her off because it's not like she can demand that you do things for her in return or get you to acknowledge that she is somehow superior to you, etc.

Give to other people as a true "gift" not with the expectation that they will give you something in return. When one is given a gift, it becomes one's property and they can do whatever they want with it (including throw it out). If you have been helped by what your sister has done by you, "thank you" is the only response necessary. There is no guilt to accepting what someone else gives you.
And i absolutely agree with giving the other people as true as "gift", infact that is probably the reason why I forget that I have done things for others as well. But then I believe that is human nature, we should do things for others and help others. Fine, i dont give flashy gifts and diamonds or whatever there is thats super glitzy, but I know when I care about someone and they're in trouble, I'll leave everything and go to them, be there for them, make sure they're okay.. etc. Maybe others just have different ways of caring, not sure, but I definitely need and demand respect and "true" caring, in the sense that if you gift me diamonds but yet not back it up with good behavior, the diamonds are truly worthless to me.