I like your post Sujarati because I've struggled with how directive therapy should be too. Well, I'm not talkative by default, so I guess in the past I waited for the t to lead the discussion. I didn't feel like therapy ever helped much for the first bunch of therapists I went to over the years. I think the t's who just push for a specific, concrete problem to fix don't know what they're doing. I think they should help the client understand the problem based on what the client presents with. Otherwise it's almost like you have to tell them the exact solution and then they tell you you should do it. Gah!

I went to couples t that was a lot more directive. That seemed to make a lot more difference. Then I went to another t and got frustrated that she didn't seem to have any direction or purpose, so I quit. But the next t was the same, so then I got used to coming up with an agenda and it seemed to work better. She would at least engage with the topics I brought up, so I didn't feel like I was doing it all on my own.

Now I go back and forth. I prefer to suggest what to talk about, but sometimes I feel lost, like I'm not sure there's anything therapy can help with, especially when the t doesn't really respond much to the topics I bring up. Having a diagnosis doesn't actually help me much because the diagnosis seems vague and possibly trumped up to satisfy the insurance. It still feels like it's up to me to say whether there's really a problem or not, and I'm pretty sure the t and everyone else would go along with it if I said it's not a problem. It helps to push myself to believe it when t does give any advice, even if it seems too simple.

Expressing my frustration a little helps sometimes. I say, "I feel lost on where to go with therapy." I feel bad about being slightly argumentative, but it's probably better than feeling ignored.

I think asking the questions Rainbow suggested sound like a good idea. Good luck with getting some more support from your t. I hope you'll let us know how it goes.