my T told me after remarking many times, i wish..., etc. he replied, if wishing was so, you'd be the happiest person in the world.

yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, we only have today.

i do understand your regrets, ygrec, altho i see life differently than you. it's like i see the glass half full and not half empty.

i believe our past does mold us in how we become. the formative years, 1-6, are vitally important to developing a healthy person for the most part. but we can change and reinvent ourselves at any crossroad.

i know you struggle but you are doing the footwork to a better understanding of life. i used to say, i didn't do life well. and i didn't. i've found new ways and skills in therapy and AA that have improved my understanding of what this is all about. had a huge onion to peel but it was worth it, even the pain i've gone thru to get to the next peeling cause i grow. i wish you the same on your own life's journey. it's when we quit trying that we get stuck in the mire. for those of us that were blessed with higher IQ's it can be a curse if we let it. over analyzing, complicating things. i've struggled to simplify, simplify. i've gotten better by understanding that i benefit from simplifying my thoughts and how i express myself.

each day is a new beginning. you're still "here" so that gives you promise. no point in looking back. you can't change the past. you can only live in today. make each day count. live your life now to the fullest. you can find joy in that if you look for it.