Parts are complaining about T.
They say this:

"Your so called "T" has alters himself! How did you think you meet?! We arranged it with - (mentioning names of T`s supposed alters) so that you could both meet and recall us! Be more conscious!"

They claim to know T`s alters years ago, from the night. Some fell in love, had wonderful sex and a lot of other fun together! Then they had an idea "to end this drama" - to get me and him the "outside selves" to know all the mess and trauma. They hope that we both get into a mental hospital where they will be free to run and be noticed and we will come together. Heal.

The worst is that they claim that T and me dissociate for a few minutes during sessions and do some sexual things!

I really just don`t feel like shaming myself and telling him. WTF? He will throw me into hospital with schizophrenic diagnosis or something. He is "The T" and he knows and he is not supposed to have alters and trauma like my alters claim he does. Earlier my parts proved their existence for me in a very unpleasant way.

I myself am planing on leaving the country sooner or later but one of the parts - The Tough Survivor - is so badly in love with him/or his "parts" as she claims - that she is very sad and hurting. The intense feelings she and some of the girls all share for T or his so called parts...and flash backs of things they did when taking over our bodies....Make me feel really threatened!

I am really afraid!
If its true then he will deny and i can have trouble
If its not then phew! Thanks God!....but...who knows?

I used to doubt so many stories...and they way they proved me to themselves was pretty damaging....yet i cannot be as bold as just claiming to know my therapist is sick himself!

I know you can say that this is all NONSENSE but...i guess i did not just came here to hear about THIS possibility. I have been ignoring this and discounting this for a while but it depresses me and sticks with my plans!

I know i can:
Leave therapy
Tell him...
Stay like this and see what happens

Parts also claim that he has dangerous alters that can attack if we leave or if we don`t satisfy them..and that they are all tricky...we cannot hear them if we don`t concentrate and that he is in complete denial...

Today i am lonely I am sick and being achy triggers body memories....

Damn. I wish this was only in my head. This is scary. Too scary to deal with ! I thought to myself to keep quiet and ~if~ anything of that is true then it will prove itself later to us somehow!

Why should i disgrace myself with such horrible disrespect for T?!