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Pach said: Yesterday is past. We have only today and tomorrow now. Still a little time to make it better. Making it better may include understanding the past more so we know what to do now, but whatever time is left, is still there. Do you have a real choice?

Of course there is no choice. For me or anyone else. But I will say that the combination of limited time, some degree of hopelessness and a reasonable quantity of despair force me, for pleasure, to do very unhealthy things while knowing full well how bad they are. Eating bad things, smoking cigarettes, drinking large quantities of booze, being as sedentary as can be. Those are the pleasures that are open to me, even though the price of cigarettes is outrageous. I can't go out and volunteer since I first have to find some kind of job, even perhaps in a supermarket, to be able to pay back all the people I've borrowed money from. I'd like to volunteer at the senior center. That would give me pleasure. I just have to use all my time at present trying to find a job, which I haven't yet succeeded in doing. And yes, T and I are, of course, working on "making it better." And succeeding, slowly. And that's all I can do, I think. If you have other ideas of what can be done, let me know. Take care!