I think your attraction problem is that you have not had a close relationship where you can be yourself. Im new, very new, but I think the whole point of this forum is to get help and suggestions from others so you can feel better about yourself enough to seek that special person in real life. It sounds like you are young and you are being normal in fanticizing. But this is not the place to find a love partner, it is a place to find yourself first so you can find a partner in reality, not fantacy.