Love drives me to not fall into the horrid traps of depression. It reminds me that the grass is greener on the other side and it has kept me from truly attempting. Yet, like CesarioRose, I have a really hard time dealing with it. I feel like a monster. I feel like everything and everyone I touch will turn turn away from me and betray me. I try my best to push people away and make lies to believe no one likes me.

People who are religious feel lows and highs like every other person. Also, I never thought that only good happens in Heaven, I always saw it more as a haven. A place where you can let go of the pains of the natural world and feel 'whole'. It's really subjective though, I suppose. But that's a whole 'nother discussion in itself and this isn't the religious board so I rather stop that conversation here.