I have to say that these last few statements DIRECTLY apply to some things I've seen about my therapy recently.

I used to get frustrated at t because he wouldn't be more outspoken and simply state what I should think...point me to "normal" so I can adapt that thinking. LOL. I am able to look back and know that t, all this time, has simply maintained the position of a guiding light of stability and REFUSED to let me do anything but figure out almost EVERYTHING on my own.

Looking back, I'm so thankful because those are the things that have stuck with me. I've managed to break a couple of abusive relationships that would be almost impossible to break had I not been able to decide on my own that my beliefs there were hurting, and not helping, me.

Ben, you speak of effectiveness when one is allowed to "examine their own beliefs and decide on their own whether or not those beliefs are working for them". I'm proof positive of that. I cannot believe the massive changes in self since I've finally "seen" that my beliefs weren't working for me and were actually hurting myself and others.

I think, looking back, that t could not have handled that more perfectly. He had me explain my wants, needs and goals, then remained that gentle, but consistent, guide as he forced me to figure out on my own how to get there and what I had to change to arrive. He gave me a few suggestions in there, but they were few. He more questioned why my thinking was as it was, so that I in turn was questioning the why's and wherefore's and figured out that my thinking was more result of abuse and not what applies to my world today.

It's an amazing journey.

KD