What Perna said! I'm going through the same thing -- but I chickened out, told my T I needed a break. He thinks I'm going to come back when I'm ready. (Sometimes I feel like the parent in that relationship)

You really struck something with me when you said you were feeling like you should have tolerated your T's imperfections. (He's not so bad? Not as bad as your own folks? And he doesn't beat you? Sounds stellar! )

My own T used this little ploy on me at our last face-to-face. He had the cohones to say to me that I should give him a break, because he's human. Yes, I understood that, but his bizarre moodiness and hostility were creating an anti-therapeutic and quite chaotic environment for me. Human schmooman. His approach wasn't working for me. To the curb!

As Perna said, therapists have to be a heck of a lot better than our friends and family members. With friends, there's reciprocity. You've got some deeply felt connections, and you give them a break when things go wrong. I was thinking about this the other day: if I knew my T as a friend, and we were having burgers and beer or something, and he was in a bad mood and kept slamming his glass down on the table, I'd say, Hey Bob, cool it, you're freaking me out. Oh, and care to share what's wrong? I'd like to know what's up with you.

That last part is the part you can't do with your T. He's not your friend. And that's why you're not his.

When my T does the therapeutic equivalent of slamming his beer glass down on the table in our sessions, I go nuts. I've asked him what's wrong. I've asked him if it's me. I get the frozen face, the blank stare. No progress, no help.

To the curb.

Your feeling about what's happening in therapy, whether it feels safe or not, whether you're making progress, whether you trust your T and feel comfortable -- these are the things to ask yourself, and listen to the answers. And you did. So I say congrats, and no regrets!

But I know you'll feel them for a while. I do too, right now