Being out of rational control is not a "bad" thing if it happens. Yes, sometimes emotions can overwhelm us and the flood of chemicals make it so we smash our fist through walls, smash the other guy in the face, etc. That's why our society allows for an "insanity" plea and why there are differences in punishment between pre-meditated acts and "crimes of passion".

But ultimately, all our actions are our responsibility. If I am day dreaming and step off the curb and get hit by a car, my not paying attention is my responsibility (like the current rash of pedestrian idiots texting and walking into fountains or, more seriously, getting hit by cars). If I know person X almost always makes me angry enough so I "spit" then I need to makes sure I leave whenever person X is around or I may have to spit and that would be my responsibility because I did not leave, knowing person X makes me so angry I could spit.

My stepmother was physically abusive and when I was in my early 20's I often thought, "If she ever touches me again, I am going to smash my fist down her throat!" I never did do that and now, because of a lot of therapy I understand her and my relationship differently than I did and no longer feel that way but do not discredit that I once did feel that way.

I left home at 22 because she called me "stupid" one time too many and hurt my feelings so much that my terror of her reaction were I to disobey her had no effect on my walking away with her calling after me to "come back here"; I distinctly remember thinking, "I don't care if she kills me!" Turned out, she and my father came up to my room and she was genuinely puzzled and sorry that she had hurt me! She literally did not know her words had had that effect, had been taken that seriously by me (the argument was over how to make Good Seasons salad dressing; do you put the water in the bottle first or the vinegar? Small, inconsequential disagreement and I did it "wrong" and it was 15 years of repeated "That was a stupid thing to do!" which usually isn't even noticed after so long; who would have thought?). But I realized it was time for me to move away from home (if I let her every meaningless/"stupid" word mean that much to me when I was that old and knew I was not "stupid"). So good came of what looked so negative.

But it is true there can be trauma from it but "later" we usually are in more control? My husband, before we were married, once smacked me and I went into "KILL!" mode but had had enough therapy to stand quivering and ask, "Why?" first and it turned out he'd smacked my arm/hard hard because I'd almost electrocuted us (worse case) or caused shards of flying glass to the face to happen by being impatient and turning on the blender before he had completely seated the container on the pedestal; he's an electrical engineer so I knew what he replied was true and I also knew I didn't want to kill people protecting themselves from me. So, feel free to hit me nowadays, as long as you're "right" (and are not my stepmother :-)