Quote:
Originally Posted by Suratji
I keep reading about trauma and how it's the result of being harmed by another person or a situation. Can it be considered trauma if you, yourself, have done something bad and the action is so out of character that it causes damaging emotional feelings for yourself years later? Or is there another word for that?
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Yes, I think there is another word for that, it's called
shame and it is a worthless emotion.
If you really did something way out of character and bad, then you should allow yourself to feel
guilt about the action and take positive steps to remedy it, apologize, learn from it etc...
Shame, on the other hand, can be paralyzing and lock you into a cycle of inaction, of not telling, of not owning up. Guilt can mobilize.
It's like saying "I am bad" (shame) versus "I did something bad" (guilt).
I'm reading a book right now by Brene Brown in which one of her research subjects for the book defined shame as "I hate myself and know why others hate me too".
That really hit home with me. Whatever you did, go into the guilt and be freed from it. Leave that
shame behind. You don't have to carry it.