Tree, your T wants to help you. That is a fact. Your T cares.
The pain is real for you, but it is from your trauma past. There was just way too much there. Way too much. And it makes us beyond terrified to face these emotions.

Your T wants to be there for you right now. Trust the process. You have been here before, and you will be here again. uggg. But each time, it gets better and a bit more sense. You can do it. You can keep fighting for what you deserve - to be loved and respected. Your T does not fake care about you (even though that is what you see right now). It is real. His heart is real.