sounds like your marriage has always been low on the sex part of it. Many times it's the woman who has been sexually abused that isn't interested in having sex in marriage......could it be that your husband went through something in his childhood or before being married to you in the way of abuse or something that has made him not interested?

Other point might be like for me.....I realized before I got married that I didn't want to marry my husband because of how irresponsible I realized he was just before we got married....but being young & my mother insisted that He would "grow up" which he never did....my lack of respect for him was all part of not loving him & in the process, really didn't want to have much to do with him sexually either.....so the less the better for me....it was about my feelings for him that weren't there & I should have listened to my gut feeling before getting married....for me it had nothing to do with any sexual abuse, just a real lack of feeling for my husband......sometimes those feelings aren't talked about or even recognized until like me...they came to realization after I finally left him after 33 years of being married. It wasn't that my love grew cold....it was never there in the first place.

Of course, there can be other reasons like if a man has a fling or an affair & is afraid of passing on any possible STD's which would be a dead give away that they weren't faithful to the marriage.....so they just stay away from having sex so they don't get found out.

Ugh,,,,,,count the possible reasons.....besides even the possibility that he may have problems in that area which could be a medical problem & just doesn't want to deal with it.

Maybe you could open up some communication & find out where he's coming from in this area. Know that if a husband really loves his wife, even if the sex end of the marriage isn't good, the feeling of love still comes through as intimacy is more than just sex.......sounds like he has some serious intimacy problems that he's not wanting to deal with or get treated .

Hope you get some answers soon