Welcome, Hahalebou!

Your post was perfectly coherent. I understand.

There is a chat system here, and it can be a lifesaver when you are at the edge.

I'm assuming, since you wrote that you are homeschooled, that you are working within some type of program which expects you to meet goals and show progress, is that so? If not, I'm guessing, you would just take a leave of absence to deal with these very important issues (much more important than dangling participles).

You're right, something is wrong. Seeing a therapist is one way to get on the road to "right" and hanging out in a forum where you can talk to others who have the ability to truly understand is another. Do you also have someone in your daily life who you can depend on for support?

Please let us know if there is anything we can do to support you through this process.