MAYBE TRIGGER about depression

So I went back to the same t that I said I was going to stop seeing in my post last week. I was too nervous to email the other t to make an appointment. And the time of my appointment came around and I hadn't done anything, so I went. Luckily he took a lot less of the session talking about himself this time, and it seemed relevant when he did.

So, I started off with usual chatting about something that went on during the week. Then I said I'm kind of lost about where to go with therapy. He asked how I've been feeling and I told him I was pretty down. I kind of ended up being a devils advocate a little about advice he was giving me. Now I feel a little bad for acting like that. The questions I was asking were real, but I don't really know if I disagree w what he was saying. I also feel bad for taking myself seriously and talking about feeling down in the first place. It's weird, it seems like talking about it can make it worse, but if I don't talk about it, why am I going to t? Anyone else have that problem?

He didn't ask me if I wanted another appointment like he usually does and I didn't ask for one. I wasn't sure I wanted one, so at first I appreciated that he didn't ask. After I left, I felt bad for not appreciating that he's trying to help. So now I'm in the same boat as usual, trying to decide which t to go to.