Whatever it is: Social Anxiety or Avoidant Perosnality Trait/Disorder, It sounds like you and I have a very great deal of similar experience in life. I want to thank you for so articulately and understandably expressing your issues. I try to explain to doctors and therapists, and I feel like they are not quite "getting it." Reading your post sounded so like my life experiences that I am kind of impressed that this disorder seems to cause pretty much the same problems in those who have it. In my case, it was fourth grade when alienation from classmates really kicked in. My struggles have been strikingly similar to your own. Since you are training to be a P.A., get a copy of the DSM IV or the new DSM V and read for yourself the criteria for personality disorders. You are a smart, and reflective person. Don't assume that the therapist you saw is necessarily better than you might be at finding the diagnosis that is the closest fit. Then, at least you can put a name to this affliction. Also, bear in mind that the system of categorization in the DSM editions is very much a "work in progress." I haven't found one-on-one therapy to be very helpful for my experience with severe social anxiety/avoidant behavior. Nor have I found drugs to be all that helpful. Group participation, I find more uselful. I now believe that sharing with persons who have this disorder might be very worthwhile.