Thank you all for your support and the sharing of your stories. I still don't know what I'm going to do...I wouldn't be able to see her until April anyway, and I feel like I'm kinda slipping. I haven't done anything yet and I'll work/try my hardest to keep from doing anything stupid, but it's still so hard. It's hard to know that I can feel better if I just do this one thing, and then prevent myself from doing that one thing.

Anyways, thanks you guys, I really appreciate the help.