I've struggled with it for years. Trusting myself, trusting my friends, my bosses, my therapists. It's been such a barrier to the lasting human connection that I've realized that I need so so much.

I've also come to realize what trust actually is and where it comes from. Yes, trust must be earned by the other person, but not through a series of tests, but through a series of actions.

Trust also means that I do not expect the other person to be perfect, but rather fully acknowledging the fact that they are going to make mistakes that hurt me and make me very disappointed.

I've absolutely come to know that trust starts first with a trust in myself. I have to know that I can absorb hurt and disappointment that is part and parcel with human interaction and not let it derail everything. To approach with empathy and understanding rather than fear.

Fear is a death knell for trust.