There is someone in a position of power in my life, with whom trust has a great deal to do with the relationship. This person has tried (for years now) ried to become little for me, if I can put it that way, so that I will not fear and will trust... has done me so many kindnesses, has been so patient... and last time I saw T I said, "I think I goofed - I told this person, 'I am afraid of you.' "

She said, "What was the answer?"

I told here, "There was no answer; but in the silence I realized that this person is not you, T; although you are trained not to take my distorted reactions personally, other people are not" (to my dismay, she nodded), "and I may have done some damage here."
It would just kill me, you know? Not literally of course but I would see myself like some dog that bites a person who's never done it any harm...

the lack of trust, and the fear behind it, has to be carefully hidden. Oftentimes, it's not easy.