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Originally Posted by rainbow8
He's solid, safe, and boring to me.
The fantasy people who were always not available because they were married, not interested in me, or because I was married, were more exciting.
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But maybe, what is going on here, is that in your fantasy you are manipulating people to your fancy. Having your relationships in your head all by yourself.
Maybe all that you need is some practice really interacting with people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
it doesn't seem to transfer to RL. I risk a little with my H but his response is quizzical. I tried yesterday and it's like "what are you talking about?"  It's kind of funny and sad at the same time. 
I know what we need to do--spend time together connecting, but my H is analytical, like most men, not romantic or into feelings at all. |
Like this ^, it sounds like you aren't really interacting with your husband. No wonder it seems boring.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
He's solid, safe, and boring to me.
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I think this ^ sounds sexy! My husband is very solid and safe and I love it!! I don't think that it is boring at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
So, Sannah, how did you manage to get your connection needs met at an appropriate level?
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I had to learn to be able to connect with people. I attempted it and then worked on understanding where my fears were coming from that were holding me back and then worked on that and then tried again and then repeated. I worked on my self worth, trust, boundaries, getting my needs met, living in the moment, getting rid of all of my stuffed feelings (by expressing them), etc. These were all the reasons why I couldn't connect with others and I had to work on all the reasons in order to be able to do it.