Hello all,

Its been awhile since I've been back here, but i feel that the grohol forums are a good resource of people who are willing to listen and give feedback, so here it goes.

Lately, I've been doubting myself and who my friends really are, actually this has been going on for quite awhile. Last year, i stepped over the "friend" line while single with a male friend of mine, and something seemed to backfire, even though there was never an obvious argument or blow up between us. Because of this, I lost a whole group of friends. It seems that four months of my life, i made a lot of mistakes similar to this. The reason for that being, I had just come out of an incredibly unhealthy and depressing relationship, and I guess i didn't know how to handle my new freedom. Ever since then I've been really unsure. I know that I have a few core friends, but I never see them for multiple reasons. My best friend left for London for the semester, another friend of mine works way over time and travels all over the place, another friend of mine is moving to cape cod, and others never seem to make the effort to see me. It seems like I am always the one who has to make the call and say "lets get together." Do people not want to see me? Why don't people call me? I am pretty shy, so I come off as haughty or snotty, but I'm really not. Its just hard for me to make friends. I commute to college so I don't have any connections inside dorms or anything. I am in the 13th best teaching school in the country, so my time for clubs is extremely limited. I just don't know what to do. I have friends through my boyfriend, but I feel its important to have my own group of friends.

I don't know if its me, or if I am worrying over nothing. I feel really lonely and I wish that I could make friends easily, but I cant. It seems impossible. I feel like secretly, people know something that I don't (particularly in the situation i described above) and that those I am still friends with, aren't telling me something and are sort of just pretending to be my friend. It goes on and on and on...you all get the picture.

I dont know what to do. Is it my lack of self estteem and confidence?

Help