Hi,

I just, last night, joined Psych Central. Besides being new here, I'm new to the using of on-line support group forums. So I feel shaky about how to proceed. But, I'll do the best I can.

After dropping in and out of school, and in and out of jobs, I became really in desperate straights. Reluctantly, I agreed to take an antidepressant medication. I doubted it was going to do any good, but I sure got a surprise. I was able to finish the vocational schooling program I was in and go on to hold jobs on a very steady basis. I was able to go to bed and get up in the morning at regular times. My life was dramatically changed.

I still had recurrent problems with depression, but it was manageable. I worked steady for years. In the fall of 2010, I lost a job. My depression became unmanageable. I didn't have to go into a hospital. I got treatment as an out-patient. The level of distress I go in and out of now is beyond anything I have ever experienced in past years. (And I've experienced a lot of ups and downs.)

I live alone and I am unemployed. I'm not destitute yet and have the basic necessities of life. But I am so afraid that I will not recover like I did in the past - lots of times. When I'm in my apartment, I'm afraid to step outside the door. If I manage to get out and drive to the store or someplace, then I'm afraid to come back to my apartment. I'll keep walking around the store trying to avoid going home. I'm scared to look for another job. I've always had social anxiety, but now that anxiety and the depression are partnered up like a tag team holding me down. I think those two problems feed off each other. I wonder if others have had to deal with those two problems at the same time and found it can get really difficult.