Ha ha. I do wear black most of the time! But my mood is not black. Just a lot of my clothes are black because then I don't have to worry about things matching. I do have some gray and navy blue. A bright color for me is teal, my favorite. T does seem to like it though when there is snow outside and I wear my bright red snow boots.

Elli-Beth and Suratji, I am really glad to read there are others who are really not into clothes. My two daughters just do not get me. They go shopping for pleasure, for me it is an unfun chore. I sure hope my T doesn't think that my lack of wardrobe diversity and fashion interest is not some flag for my mood. The way I am feeling does not relate to how I dress.

Even though what I wear is not worth commenting on, my T does do it sometimes. He will comment on a scarf or necklace he likes, ask me about it, etc. He has even commented on my purse or my shoes. What male T notices purses and shoes!? Sometimes these items have stories behind them, like who gave it to me, or where it came from (another country), and I share these with him if he comments.

RE commenting on what your T is wearing: I never used to, but when I went for couples therapy, my H sometimes commented on what T was wearing and I saw it was no big deal and not crossing a boundary (I am so paranoid about that). So I do sometimes now. In particular, I comment on T's facial hair, as sometimes he goes through phases where he grows a beard, and I always comment so as to reinforce this (I love beards). Last time he did this, I told him I liked it and added, "not that it matters," as I know I am just a client and whether I like his beard or not has no bearing on him--it's not like I'm friends or family. He said, no that it did matter, that he liked to know what others thought of it. That made me feel good, that he cared what I thought of his appearance. I don't even know what that means!