Is it a connection? You said T was the only significant person in your life, and for the past 4 weeks you've been alone...maybe feeling connected is scary for you? I don't know, I only can tell you that when I get a T break I feel better and don't want to go back. It hurts to heal, that's just the way it is and it sux.

I am so sorry you are feeling this triggered. And I am going to say what everyone tells me (and I hate hearing it)....maybe you should talk to T about the way you feel triggered.