All my life I have been abused. Starting with the punches and choking from my dad to the same and worse from my ex husband. Last year I put my chin up and said enough. I put the ex in jail with abuse charges, and pulled myself together. I entered into a hospitalization program to help me get threw the mental torture I relive in my head. Everything was ok for once. I met a man that was disgusted by abuse and claimed he wanted to give me the break I needed. He offered me a safe place in his arms and healed my wounds. In this last month he has hit me atleast 3 times and strangled me atleast 3 more. One of witch I lost my breath completely. That brought me right back to the place my dad had me in. This man says he loves me and always says it was because he wanted to stop me from freaking out when we argue or to"shock" me. Well... I truely believe he loves me, at the same time I know that if he did no matter how mad I got him he wouldn't hurt me. The choking thing really makes me relive my dads abuse for some reason, it triggers all of those memories I worked on so hard to forget or forgive. I'm scared because I know the answer is to leave but I have nothing. No way to support my kids, no car, no job, and no family left. And.. this is an old one.. I love him. I'm afraid to be alone and to start all over again, putting myself and my kids on the streets.
What do I do... does he love me, is that possable?