I didn't get to see massage T this week due to finances. It was the first week in months that I haven't been bed ridden the 2 days before our session. She is as gentle and loving as it gets.
I have also had T's that were a bad fit that hurt me very badly and I kept going.

So... Spend some time trying to be really honest with yourself. Sometimes the new safe feelings can be scarier than the familiar scared feeling so we run back to scared.

Just be honest and fair with yourself.