Depression does feel like the flu. It's exhausting, especially when I cry a lot. I'm consumed with thoughts and feelings about loneliness. Being single, no family, having had few partners in my life due to depression and feeling undeserving. I've been on disability for so many years that I really fear being extremely depressed at a job. It's very hard to mask. At the same time, it provided people contact. I think of trying to date, but the despair is too strong. There have been times when I liked myself, when I felt good connections with others and could be caring. Why do only the negative memories stick, dragging down my self-esteem? I guess that's what depression does best. I've gone to alanon for 23 years, and still often feel I've nothing to say after the meeting, and depart, feeling sad. Same thing with other types of gatherings. It's rooted in childhood and very hard to put behind me. I long so much for close friends and a life partner. I used to be immersed in creative activity until the depression took away my passion for it almost 2 years ago. My concentration for reading is poor now too.