I'm sorry you are feeling devoid. I'm Crew nice to meet you...!

It is so important to read and reread the guidelines to PsychCentral and then the guidelines for chat. I only say this because talking about suicide isn't allowed mainly because there isn't anyone that could help you out in a situation and if your feeling suicidal, try calling your therapist and/or call 911.
Yes, it's all over-whelming and because of this that is why reading all the guidelines would be great start.
There are forums for depression and relationships... give yourself some time and read and post if your up to it. I give you the best of luck in healing
and to PsychCentral one-more-chance. Crew