Hi and welcomet o PC.

I think you have taken a HUGE step here by posting and speaking from your heart. I think you ought to be pretty proud of yourself for that, it takes courage and strenght to do so.

I understand whole heartedly how you are feeling. Just over a year ago I had lost all hope I had ever had. I couldnt muster up not one ounce of strength to continue. I made my husband take me to the hospital to admit myself because I could NOT GO ON any longer in the state of mind I was in.

The Doctor that treated me actually took her time to speak to me, really understand me. I had never spoken to anyone who truely understood me and what my mind was telling me. Everyone around me just expected me to snap out of it because I was supposed to be "strong". Although I was not admitted that day, they made me an appointment with mental health services for intense counselling and medication.

I was fortunite enough to be paired up with a counsellor who specialized in Depression and anxiety. She helped me tremendously.

I think that perhaps your current T is not the correct one for you. This happens. I think you need to search for a T who specializes in depression and past abuse. This can make such a difference.

You can contact your local social service mental health department and they can help you. That is where I sought services and despite that it was through the county, I received very good treatment and I beleive you can too.

The very fact that you posted here today shows me that you want something better. Unfortunatly, with depression there is no quick fix, no happy pill, just a slow process of healing which I beleive you can achieve.

Please hang in there. Keep posting. Get it out, all of it. Whatever it is, post about it. That is very important. Keeping all those thoughts, feelings and memories locked away is only going to make it worse. Eventually, it will get better, I promise. Hang on. We will keep you safe and we will help you as much as we can.

Take good care of yourself and please, keep posting.


Huggles,


Jen