My adult daughter (22) has been struggling for some time. She just told me tonight that she was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. (however this was after seeing a new doc for the first time for a 1.5 hour visit) Can they diagnose that quickly? I'm sure they had access to her medical history as well.

She came to visit me tonight. She seemed in a happy mood initially, but to me it seemed 'fake or forced'. Not sure how to describe it.. but just didn't seem natural. She was talking about different things and then out of the blue said she needed some financial help. (she lives with her dad, not me, due to a fight we had several months ago - she left). I asked her what kind of financial help. She said she wanted me to take her shopping because she 'needs a new wardrobe'. I hesitated before answering because she hasn't been treating me very well -- verbally abusive, nasty etc... She went on to say that if I refused to buy her a new wardrobe, the '**** would hit the fan.' I asked her if she was threatening me? She said yes in fact she was. This was when she went on to say that she was just diagnosed with BPD and she gets extreme mood swings so 'I better take her out and buy her these things'. I replied that I am not prepared to buy her a new wardrobe 'just to alleviate a low mood and make her feel better'. She lost it. There was a glass vase with roses on the table... she picked it up and threatened to smash it. Then she picked up something else and raised it up threatening to throw it against the wall. She then went into the kitchen and threw my sunglasses on the floor, breaking them. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and swearing like crazy. She came up close to me and started screaming right in my face and I said to her there will be no violence in this home so please stop or you have to leave. She replied 'violent?? you think this is violent? THIS is violent...' and she raised her fist about an inch from my face. She scared me! My heart was racing, but I grabbed her hand and pushed it down... she ran upstairs into my bedroom and I heard something crash on the floor.... it was something small but still.....

Is this typical of BPD?? She scared the hell out of me. I will say she has harbored resentment towards me for a long time (almost 15 years since her dad and I divorced) We've had patchy times over the years and she has shown episodes of anger, but I never suspected a mental illness back then.

Then last year, she had what I thought was a nervous breakdown.
(Paranoia, psychosis, she was very overwhelmed and upset, unable to sleep for days, periods of depression - ended up taking her to Emergency but nothing really came of it - she was always sent home) I learned after she had done cocaine and then thought the behaviour was drug induced.
I took almost 2 weeks off work to stay home with her as I was so worried. Then she seemed to go 'back to normal'.

Then end of last year we got into a fight about her over-use of pot. She got very angry and moved in with her dad - who at the time allowed her usage of pot in his home. (supposedly he doesn't anymore.. i hope that is the case)

Since she moved in with him our relationship hasn't been great. Although it's never been great for that matter, we did used to have lots of times where we got along and enjoyed each other's company. Now, she seems to hate me and tells everyone I'm a narcissist! In mid February, some concerned friends of hers approached me and to make a long story short, I went to visit her at her dad's to check on her and she was completely psychotic, out of control and I feared she would hurt herself, even if accidentally. She refused to go to the hospital with me so I called 911 and the police came. They managed to get her to agree to go with them to hospital. When docs saw her they admitted her, (involuntary admission) She stayed there for 2 weeks, on anti-psychotic me + lorazapem. Initially she would not let me visit but after she did. Although she had 'calmed down' since admission, I still saw paranoia and lots of irritability.

She has been back at home - her dad' place- for the past couple weeks. It's been turbulent. She exhibits lots of anxiety and irritability at times. But I seem to trigger the most extreme reactions of her.

Sorry this is so long... but interested in others thoughts -- or perhaps I'm just venting?? Thanks for listening/reading and if anyone has suggestions on how I can deal with this and/or help her??? I have been to see a therapist myself but have only been once so far. I've also seen my family doc to get help/suggestions but I seem to struggle on how to deal with her behaviour.