Hi everyone, I'm new to these forums so this is my first post. I'm 20 and I've suffered from depression on and off since I was 14, as well as having a bout of severe anorexia ( to the point where I was almost hospitalized) when I was 18. I never received any proper treatement for the anorexia, but on study abroad at the time and was basically told that if I didn't gain some weight I'd be sent home. I managed to overcome that by myself but the problem is depression just seems to keep coming back. I've had three episodes so far, but I wasn't properly treated for the first two. The first one my parents refused to believe I was depressed and wouldn't pay for medication or therapy. Second one I got a couple of sessions of counselling and after a couple of months it passed. This time I've been fighting it for about four months. My dr gave me prozac which has definitely helped but certainly doesn't eliminate everything. I have had some counselling but what I find is that after a couple of sessions I feel better and then b/c I'm fine we leave the counselling and in a few weeks I'm slipping back into depression. Half my probs stem from my parents - I am sure my mother has some form of bipolar disorder - she is easily irritable, very anxious, gets up really early and starts doing chores, has these huge spending sprees, etc....it's been like this as long as I can remember...when I was a teenager I remember her on a couple of occasions screaming that she was going ot hurt herself,etc...but no one in my family will do anything about it and she does not acknowledge that she has a problem. My father thinks that therapists are for the weak and ppl should be able to sort out her own probs....yeah right....

I'm moving cities in a couple of weeks which I'm hoping will give me a fresh start and a bit of space. I really want to get rid of this depression once and for all and just get on with my life. In some ways I'm so used to it that it seems kind of scary to live without it just b/c it's so familiar ( I hope that makes sense...not that I like depression, but it's sort of become engrained into me)...but the alternative ( staying depressed) is not where I want to be, so I've figured enough is enough and it's time to free myself. I've found that talking and writing helps so I thought I might post this....