Thanks guys! I agree that it could be to do with feeling connected again because before T I just dealt with everything on my own and even tho thats hard, its what I know.

I think Im also scared about seeing T again and NOT being connected and him being someone different and having to build the relationship again. That somehow he will have forgotton me or what I need and that rules have changed.

I know I need to talk to T about this but part of me doesnt want to back and have feel this pain all the time.