It's only 6 AM here - I was up all night with insomnia (thanks to the meds...)

I did call her office phone and leave a voice mail about it. She gets in around 9:00.

I'd call her cell phone but if the answer is "stop taking it" then there's not much I can do before she gets in. I already took last night's dose.

Grr. I admit I have a very black/white relationship with her. I either idolize her and credit her for saving my life when I was seriously screwed up 3 years ago, or I completely hate her and want to switch. I already got on the waiting list for a psychiatrist, but she won't be available until at least September. I even looked up phone numbers of psychiatrists in a city 1-1/2 hours away. That's how much I hate her right now, I'm willing to drive an hour & a half to find someone else.

I wanted off the antipsychotics MONTHS ago. I asked her, several times. I really don't think I need them anymore. And now this.

Quite frankly, if she doesn't take me off the antipsychotic today, I will do so myself against her wishes. Something I never thought I would do. Just to prove to her that I can be stable without it.