Hi everyone,
I will try to keep this brief--my sister in law fits the description of a person with NPD to a tee. She displays all of the traits -- including a complete lack of ability to see her own behavior clearly or take responsibility for any of it. Everything is always someone elses fault. She lies about everything constantly, whether there is any discernible reason to or not. If you point out a lie, she simply denies it or deflects and changes the subject.

My question is: what hope is there? Some of us have discussed an intervention of sorts, but I know that part of her thinking is that nothing is wrong with her, just with everyone else. She also seems paranoid and tries to drive wedges between everyone in the family--viewing us as enemies, although all anyone wants to do is see her get better so that her kids dont suffer. She lies to her friends and speaks in a very calm and centered tone --describing herself as a victim in her relationship with my brother--but those of us who see her regularly have seen rage, manipulation, lying and excessive control issues.

It has crossed my mind that she could have BPD, but at this point, the label is secondary to the main problem, which is how do you get a person with a personality disorder to see themselves clearly for long enough to get help?

Is there any hope other than all of us learning to live with this woman?

Thank you for any advice you may have!