(((( Tree ))))

I am so glad that you are continuing to work this out, to get back the feeling of safety and trust that you have with T. It's hard when T's are "off". A couple weeks ago, I experienced a similar session - and when I emailed T, telling him that I felt disconnected and distant, he owned up to it by saying he wasn't feeling well so he wasn't totally present - but that it was in no way a reflection of his continued concern for me, etc. That meant a lot. The following session (last week), he brought it up and asked me if his response helped. He was so caring when he addressed it, so I knew it was important to him. And it did help. It helped to know that I could separate his stuff (not feeling well, not being present as a result) from my stuff...and that I could trust that he was being sincere.

And I can relate to the feeling of not wanting to do therapy - but wanting to get to the other side...such a dilemma....but you're doing it. One step at a time...((( HUGS )))