Hey all,

I've been having a lot of issues in my marriage. My husband and I have been together for 5 1/2 years (married 7 months). Our problems aren't new, but they seem to be escalating. I have BPD (self-diagnosed) and my emotional stability is nonexistant (aka extreme changes from loving to hating), and I also have a difficulty controlling my rage. When we get into arguments its like WWII, and sometimes evovles to small physical scuffs.

The problem is my husband has mild Asperger's Disorder, and has a very hard time relating with me. You see the problem. I am at a very low point emotionally because of events that have happened, and I feel alone. I know a lot of our problems are my fault, and once we get into an argument, I have a hard time controlling myself (and I feel terrible afterward).

However, I feel like the blame is ALWAYS put on me because of it, when my husband does do hurtful things. He doesn't even realize when he hurts my feelings sometimes, and when I point it out when he does it, doesn't seem to understand why it hurts me.

For example, I am on my way to receiving gastric bypass surgery, and a commercial for it comes on TV. My husband will look at it and say things like "oh look thats YOU". It may not seem like much, but he's always bringing up my weight when I'm already subconscious of it, and don't want to think about it 100% of my life when we're doing other things. If I ask him to do something for me, he'll mumble and say something mean. I always tell him that if he doesn't want to do something, it would hurt my feelings less if he just wouldn't do it, instead of doing it and insulting me (then expect me to say thank you?). To defend him, it can be hard to say no to me, because I can get upset when he refuses to help. I know its easy to hurt my feelings, but is getting upset at those things that he does rational?

I love my husband. I couldn't imagine not having him in my life. Yet, sometimes I just don't know how we put up with eachother. :/'

Also, those with BPD - how have you learned to control the black and white mentality and the rage?