i'm sure you know this-at a certain benchmark guys become blinded with their sexuality...don't think it ever ends even when they're old, lol. i do think you were shocked too. didn't see it coming 'cause you'd been friends so long. welcome to the growing up world.  you just keep being yourself. i didn't bend to peer prssure either and it helped me become a woman with her own mind. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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