I hate myself, I have started self-harming again. I haven't done this particular harming in a long time. This time around, it is worse than ever before and I am really battling the urges, but I find myself giving in more often than usual. One of the big things that scares me is how much I enjoy it and it makes me feel good. I need to stop before things get too out of control or the ones I love find out. I can't handle their hatred right now.