thank you ambiguous your respose is very, very, very much apriciated. reading your response has given me hope that things will get better. i think to be honest i just need an attitude make-over in all aspects of my life, i know if i dropped my pesamistic attitude i would move forward and have a much better pespective on things, i am my own worst ememy, the only person holding me back and pushing me further under is me. I know what the media percieves to be beautiful affects alot of people deeply (women most comonly i have found) as realistically very few are size 0. and yes focusing on the possitive aspects of my life would be a good more productive idea insted of wallowing unintentionally in my own self pitty. much thanks again

Jofomodosho