And I started thinking of my insides like my sick kids. Like, what if I just say to myself "you feel unlovable and stupid. it feels awful and I bet you wish it would just end. it's okay. just rest and know that you won't feel like this forever". Like, what if I just let myself BE, and stop fighting and trying so hard? And when I thought of that, I could feel a little bit of space inside of me opening up, a little place where it wasn't all so ugly and dark and loud. Maybe a little place where I can rest for a minute.

I want to hang on to that place, even if it's just tiny right now.