Quote:
Originally Posted by WePow
T looked right in my eyes and said "I loved it out of you." 
The sentance didn't even make sense but it did to my heart. And he used the L word!! 
Suddenly I was mad at my T. I was mad because he used the L word in a safe way. I was mad because he cares. I was mad because he moved to a new office and that guy said hi to me!
And then when I wrote in the post about if my T took away hugs that I would never go back, it was strange because I was jeleous and WANTED my t to take the hugs away! I wanted him to hurt me in some way that would make things feel normal again for me. I am crying just typing this out and not sure what the emotion is... not anger... but something very sad. Oh well.
I will see him Monday. I just wanted to share this with you guys.
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Thank you for sharing!
OMG, he used the L word! I could just cry thinking of what he said to you....I feel sort of jealous, but mostly very very happy for you to hear the word love in a safe way.
I can see how this would cause a strange emotion, hard to name, arise in you.....
I wonder about what you say about wanting your T to take away the hugs, wanting him to hurt you.....well, it feels more normal for you to be hurt than to be loved, doesn't it? But you know, it really is more perfectly normal for you to be loved and NOT hurt....and T has given you this gift and you are in astonished amazement and disbelief and poignant sorrow all at once I think.
What you say also makes me wonder....if I really wanted T to hurt me as I have been hurt before, by touch being withheld, something taken away, love taken away, if I was testing her to see if she would - and there it is, she did. WePow, this pain is nothing to be jealous of...... you have already had such pain in your life, and now you have love and you have hugs from your T, and how wonderful for you. I am crying for YOU, tears of joy because you deserve this love!
