SAWE, I'm sorry for this withdrawal of hugs. One thing I really don't like about it is the "one size fits all" approach. There may indeed be clients for whom hugs are not a good idea. And then there are those for whom the touch is very therapeutic--like the despairing widow in the Yalom quote. I think therapists should be trusted to be competent and to be able to make those judgments about their clients for themselves.

"I make a point to touch each patient each hour - a handshake, a clasp of the shoulder, usually at the end of the hour as I accompany the patient to the door. If a patient wants to hold my hand longer or wants a hug, I refuse only if there is some compelling reason - for example, concerns about sexual feelings." --Yalom

If one day my T suddenly told me that we could not hug anymore, I would interpret it as Yalom wrote, that he had for some reason decided I was feeling sexual about him. It would feel really yucky to have him sexualize the relationship like that (is that what you think this is about, T?). It would feel very unjust, because that is not the case. I'm not sure our relationship would survive it. It would show how little he understood me and our relationship. I am so glad I am not in that situation.

I know that's different than your case, SAWE, and yours sounds very painful. But your posts also sound like you are handling it very well. The hands thing sounded nice...