What was the recommendation of the doctors at the hospital where she stayed 2 weeks? Is she following through?

I don't know what the docs recommended because they would not share with me due to privacy reasons as she is an adult. My daughter shares very little wth me also because she 'doesn't trust me'. She tells me to cut the umbilical cord. This is heartbreakng to me but I'm learning to accept this is how she feels and nothing I can do about it. I have told her several times if she changes her mind and wants my help I am here for her.

If a 22 year old needs a new wardrobe, a 22 year old can buy one herself. Sounds harsh, but it's meant to ask, what is she doing for herself? Is she working? Is she working toward and independent life?

This is an area her dad and I disagree. I have given up trying to make him see reason. He gives in to any of her demands and I do not, for the simple reason I do want her to grow up to be independent and self sufficient. He has been on his own for past 15 years and I think in some ways he likes to cater to the kids (they both live with him now) because they keep him company and he's 'their buddy'. Daughter did go to college for 2 years but she dropped out and now she has an 'on call' job. Not regular hours. When she used to live with me I used to push her to either go back to school or work full time, not sleep in every day and then wake up and get high and go out with friends after. At her dad's she can bascally do what she wants. He doesn't get it.

She's just really too old to be playing Mom against Dad, and I think she'd feel so much better if she was planning her own independent life, but she'll need to get her behavior under control first and DBT therapy can help her do that.

I agree totally!

What would she say about her life, about her behavior, if you were to sit down with her at a quiet time when she is in control of herself, and no one is judging anything. What direction would she like her life to go? What fears keep that from becoming a reality and the good news is that therapy can help with those fears and help a person make those goals materialize.[/quote] It's very challenging to have a discussion with her. Once I start asking questions she gets very defensive and irritable. If I push she will get angry. It's like she pushes me away unless we are talking about something she wants to talk about.

I greatly appreciate your response. Thank you for replying.