>>. . . we can be passive aggressive though...I piss myself off when I stoop to that...but I always want to say sorry for it.cause I can see it in retrospect...but,don't possess the foresight to fend it off.<<

I get that! Personally, most people face that struggle! Passive Aggressiveness . .. I know I do that but I hate to recognize it. I do that with my family. They live out west, moved when I was in my thirties and my visits are rare. They are loving and invite me out, but I passively/aggressively RESENT that they are all out there and no one thought about me. I don't condemn or argue with anyone. I just say that I don't have the money to visit other than once five years or more. I'm not wealthy, but I"m now single and employed and they have famileis or in the case of my parents, are retired. ... I just resent (passively/aggressively that I'm the one who is expected to spend her "savings" to go out to visit. It grates on me. I wish it didn't, but it does. .. . a lot!