I'd definitely ask her to clarify. For example, my T and I often work on a similar goal. To me, the difference is that before, I was "getting through" the anxiety and PTSD symptoms--purely white-knuckling it and enduring it. Now it's more like, "Oh, hey--there's that pesky panic and flashback again. Sheesh, I'm tired of it! Oh well, I'm still okay. It's not going to disrupt my day or my mood." I'm uncomfortable, but I have a different relationship to the pain and fear.

I wonder if a good place to start is by discussing your defintion of 'tolterate' and hers. They may not be the same?