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My whole body is trembling I am so mad & hurt right now. Just had a huge fight with my family. They were saying that they want me out of the house & I have nowhere to go & very very little money. Alot of really harsh things were said, especially about all my medical conditions & bills, both physical & mental, about how much of a burden I was. They are having alot of problems w/ my brother too. He has extremely serious drug use problems & refuses help & it's horrible watching him slowly kill himself every day. Was talking w/ parents about what to do for him to get him clean & healthy & somehow it turned into bash ffgal day. My brother has lost everything in the last 2 years, money, wife, 2 young daughters, job, home, etc. & is self medicating. I have lost it all too. Parents want to divorse now too bc of all the fighting. So, what to I do? If they decide I can stay for now, do I really wanna live with people who dont want me there? Between my brothers mental health & substance abuse issues, my physical & mental issues....all of which are very severe.....PLUS THEIR ISSUES, they are burnt out & sick of having to stress & deal with it all. They feel that they've raised us already & can't do it forever. With my RSD, I can't physically or financially moved out. I used to live with my ex-boyfriend & he was my caregiver. Mom would come help some too, but he daily helped me bathe, prepare meals, did laundry & clean the house, etc. I took him & how much he used to do for me, for granted. Guess that's why he cheated, then broke up with me after 12 years, & put my dog to sleep & lied about it. My ex said he wanted me to move out because I was too sick, physically & mental for him to handle & live a happy life. So, we broke up. Now, it seems like my parents are at that same point with me. They are the ones doing all that for me now. I am so worthless & a burden to everyone around me. My friends have been wondering what is going on because I am isolating very bad & cant be around or talk to people right now. My mind is way too screwed up right now. I wouldn't even know where to start if I tried to open up & talk to someone. There are so many parts of my life that are all crumbling at once. I dont handle stress well & my mental health is extremely poor now. Really could have done with out this new psych issue of hearing noises & voices. I've lost it & am worthless. I am nothing but a burden. I don't wanna be around anyone because I having nothing to give & they don't want to hear all my drama. Also, I'm way too embarrased about all that is going on, especially the hallucinations. Sorry, I was venting!
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